“A man must stand erect, not be kept erect by others.”
– Marcus Aurelius
What is the meaning of masculinity? With strong, independent women being the norm – the role of man has become increasingly confusing. Yet there are still ancient, unchanging parts for man to play.
The strength of the feminine is primeval and eternal. It is not unique to the modern age. Across history there are tales and mythology of strong, female warriors and rulers. Whether they rule by agility, aggression, cunning, sexuality or diplomacy – women displaying a feminine essence have conquered on a similar scale as man.
As such, traditional notions of the role of man as a ruler, conqueror and provider has always been inadequate and inaccurate. The dance between the feminine and the masculine is much more intricate.
In this dance and every dance between men and female, man still has two distinct parts to play – as it was, is, and will be across all history – that of the pillar and the life giver.
A pillar lifting the temple;
The support for pure beauty to stand tall in the rays of the sun.
So, too, is man a pillar for his lady.
Not a crushing rock suffocating the flowers underneath,
Nor a lonely boulder standing alone – like a lighthouse on the shores of the raging sea,
But the critical piece of architecture, piercing both the earth and the art,
That bears all the weight and gives life to the divine artistry,
The support to the ethereal essence to be worshipped;
That radiant goddess that shall become my wife for eternity.
Although women can be just as strong as a man, they should not have too. True feminine beauty shines brightest when they can radiate their splendor freely and carefree.
It is man’s role to support that eternal sunshine and to bask in the glorious beams of light. To become fully enchanted by the pure artistry of the female spirit and do whatever he can to let her shine the brightest.
It can take many forms, depending on what the needs of the lady are. It can mean supporting her financially – so that she does not have to work a day in her life. It can mean being her steadfast champion in the face of overwhelming emotions. It can mean being her physical protector against other predatory men. It can mean lavishing her with unending praise on her beauty. It can even mean just placing your hand on the small of her back and letting her feel your strength when she needs it.
Paradoxically, this supportive role is where man reaches the highest heights and thrives. It is in this role that great monuments are raised in honor of a muse and when vast empires are built to protect and serve their wonderful lady.
When a man forfeits to play this ancient role, he fails to be her support. He does so when he is too weak to carry the burden, too egotistical to support her or too scared to bear the weight. He makes her feel unsafe, alone and restrained. In turn, this drives her into the arms of a man who can be a pillar or force her to dim her feminine shine because she has to be strong herself.
Being a pillar means standing strong at all times, not caving under emotions and failing to take charge when the situation calls for it. It means standing tall and not relying on others for your happiness. It means taking responsibility for the quality of your life together.
The Life Giver
There lives a god in man, the creator of life.
He wields the very essence of creation,
The Alpha and the Omega.
As there is no light without the dark, no life without death.
So too, no feminine without the masculine.
As a god, he shall bring forth life.
Expelling it with an intensity of energy,
A gift for his goddess.
She, shall take it,
And do with it as she pleases.
For man shall create anew,
Until his dying breath.
The second inescapable role for man to play is that of the life giver. It is a common misconception that it is the female that gives life. Women are the caretaker and cradle of life. With time, they shall magnify whatever man gives them. Man is the originator and giver of life.
You give a woman sperm, they shall cradle and transmute that into a child.
You give a women a house, they shall cradle and transmute that into a home.
You give a women negative emotions, they shall cradle and transmute that into a terror of biblical proportions.
You give a women love, they shall cradle and transmute that into a family.
The positive or negative energy you sent out to your lady is the life that you give. You should respect what you send her, as it shall be magnified and sent back at you and the world.
Women absorb the energy from others. You leave a women alone for an extended period of time and they will wither away and die. Their shine will leave this world because they received no nourishment.
Man is the greatest source of this nourishment. Your praise, love, protection and strength are qualities that are absorbed, magnified and radiated through the female spirit.
When a man fails to play to role of the life giver a strong woman will resort to feeding on what she can like a mythological succubus. She will make up fights to feel your love, she will create jealousy to feel your desire or force leadership through discussions, erratic behavior or going against your wishes. This is not the woman being irrational – this is you failing to give life!
This exchange of energies is the reason why romantic relationships can be either the greatest source of pain in life or the greatest source of happiness. I believe that everyone – man and female – needs to create and cultivate extraordinary romantic relationships. When done well, the life of both partners is exponentially multiplied by the energy that is put in.
It all starts with man. That is the role of man.